Corpsman

How Do I love Yogyakarta?

2012-01-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

It's not only the Grebeg Kraton that makes me smile, it makes me feel like I am living in a world full of differences it wakes me up. It's telling me that I am not alone in this world. There are people like me, there are people unlike me.

It's not only the cuteness of this town, with it's own very unique buildings with their unique people, with those greedy markets, with those supermega-cheap food stalls everywhere.

It's not only the fact that every morning when the weather is good, a beautiful big mount is staring at me saying 'have a good day!' and it makes me want to learn more at school, so I won't feel so guilty for being too un-useful for this beautiful world.

It's everything. It's everything I see, smell and feel.

This town, it hypnotized me.

Well life, my friend... is a ride. to where? You decide.

2011-12-21T06:34:00.000-08:00

I am the luckiest girl on earth and you know it :)

How Did We Get Here?

2011-08-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

Congratulations that you made it here. I am glad that you did. Getting here wasn't easy. In fact, I suspect it was a little tougher than you realize.

"For you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and curiously obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. For the next many years (we hope) these tiny particles will uncomplainingly engage in all the billions of deft, co-operative efforts necessary to keep you intact and let you experience the supremely agree-able but generally under appreciated state known as existence."

-Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything

And yes, my dear. You're lucky enough to get here. to have the access to actually get into this blog. to even read this. So many of our unlucky brothers and sisters are out there, dreaming to be able to read.

So many of the fetuses are not born, because things go wrong.

You should learn the process of how you grew in your smiling mom's womb. Since the embriology part, it wasn't so easy, not as easy as you think that making babies are easy. It's not that easy, either. Your Dads are gonna need enough sperms and powerful ones, your Moms are gonna need to have normal menstruation history, and they both are gonna need to be okay in all parts of their reproductive system to actually have YOU growing in your Mom's womb. And just so you know, i have spent my 6 months of life to study what could have gone wrong, and I am still working on knowing it all, but it's just too many things that could have gone wrong. But then again, the fact that you are reading this, means nothing went wrong in your case. Be thankful for that.

And there are still a bunch of more things that could have gone wrong after you are inside the womb. Do you know what happens the day your mom realized she's missing her period? it was probably the 3rd week that you are inside her womb. It's the time for the formation of germ layers and early tissue and organ differentiation, meaning that you are currently starting to build your very first organs. And what happens after that, is what really makes you. It's called an organogenesis, it's when you finally are building your organs, trying to make them work. Well, the actually working organs at that time was only your cardiovascular system, but still, the other organs are being built. And you have to know that there are a lot, i mean A LOT that could've gone wrong and you won't be here today, you won't be dating the cutest girl in town, you won't be listening to the coolest music there are, you won't even be able to exist. It only needs a little teratogenic stuffs to cancel your existence. But here you are, lousily reading this blogpost, means you survived the war of the fourth to the eight week.

There are so many more things, and i don't think you have enough time to waste another minutes on reading my shits, but if you want to know more about what happens before you, go check this out!

And do you have any idea how in the hell this universe even come into existence? It wasn't an easy deal, either.

It had once occurred to me with a certain uncomfortable forcefulness that i didn't know the first thing about the only planet i was ever going to live on. Didn't have the faintest idea, for example, (en example that i get from this book) why the oceans were salty but the Great Lakes weren't. I didn't know if the oceans were growing more salty with time or less, and whether ocean salinity levels was something i should be concerned about or not.

Well, after all, what i am trying to say here is that trying to get to know yourself better is not only a matter of knowing what you're doing best at, knowing what your passions are, knowing what element your souls are, it also is about knowing, and acknowledged that YOU ARE HERE. there has to be some specific and special reasons why you are here. cause God had gotten you through all this, all these things that could've gone wrong. He wants you. He wants you to do something on this cruel world. For once in your life, figure it out. The reasons that you are here. Cause it has to be something, and you know it. God whispers it in our souls. We are a split of God's after all, so lets just listen.

Remember how hard it is to get here,

Good luck on embracing your life!

Do we really need to ask ourselves?

2011-05-21T02:38:00.000-07:00

Whether we’re feeling good or not? Whether we’re in love or in doubt?

Live your life. Dream big. Be happy. Make everyone else happy. Get to heaven.

2011-03-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

Hey girls, these are just a bunch of letters forming words with no meaning until you all read it with your limbic part of the brain (the one controlling your emotion). This will only be a part of you trashy inbox from a long-gone-friend. This is only an explanation why that friend should be happy she has you. Unless, your smart-like-ass-brain would nicely think that there are more. More than that.
This is an explanation of how the world spins. You may take it as a trashy knowledge everyone in elementary school would know. Or, you can put in your mind, that the world is moving, and its not waiting for any of you waking up too late. It all depends on your mind. Whether something is useful or is not. Whether something is beautiful or it is not. Pleased your mind.

Dream big. Wake up and live the dream.
I am not here to tell you what to think, I am telling you to think. I am not here to tell you what to do. I am telling you to do something.

This world is fucking spinning.
She moves, rapidly. She has enormous amount of burdens. She has us. all our problems. our bad predictions. our negative energies. Our bad grades. Our stupid decisions. Our broken hearts. Our failures. Our pool of tears. Our crazy nights. Our sperms. Our crushes. Our spits. Our burdens. Not her.
It moves, still.
Why aren’t we moving? Why do we keep on dealing with the same things? Why do we bother with the details we don’t need to care? Why do we praised the Gods of all the stupid? (By this, I mean, money, fashion, sex.) why aren’t we moving, for Stupid’s sake?!

found this, interrupting my so called happiness

2010-02-08T06:21:00.000-08:00

and how i miss you, guys :(

Lets change these lenses,

2009-09-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

imagination should've been better.

Tales dont tell themselves

2009-08-25T06:23:00.000-07:00

Dan mulai lagi aku bernyanyi, sebuah nada di atas dunia, di atas segala duka di atas lara, ku bernyanyi demi Tuhanku, ku bernyanyi demi cintaku, ku bernyanyi demi semua yang ada di hadapanku, ku bernyanyi demi senyum senyum yang akan menantiku nanti, demi mereka yang akan datang dan tak akan pergi, demi mereka yang akan menyapa dan tak akan mengakhiri.

Ku ingin bertemu mereka, menyapa mereka dengan cinta, ku ingin menggenggam tangannya, katakan pada mereka betapa langit ku masih biru, betapa semua itu kupersembahkan bagi Tuhanku.

Kini datang kembali senja di sini, buatku berhenti bernyanyi, melantunkan nada lain yang lebih tinggi, sedikit berteriak tanda ku berusaha mengakhiri, namun semua terlanjur terjadi, akulah yang harus menentukan akhir cerita ini.

Pagi datang dan mataku tak kunjung terbuka, makan semua yang ada di depan muka, membuat kawan lama datang membawa luka, ingin ku groak saja wajahnya, bawakan aku kenangan tentang si senja, bawakan aku keindahan yang fana, ku ingin orang yang datang dan tak akan pernah pergi, mereka yang menyapa dan tak akan mengakhiri.

Serangga kembali membangun sarangnya, aku kembali bernanung di belakang payung nestapa, aku ingin orang yang datang dan tak akan pernah pergi, mereka yang menyapa dan tak akan mengakhiri.

Bangsal ini sudah terpenuhi oleh mereka yang sudah hampir mati, bangsal ini akan dipenuhi dengan orang orang yang pernah merasakan mati, bangsal ini akan dipenuhi orang orang yang akan takut bila mati kembali. Aku ingin orang yang datang dan tak akan pernah pergi, mereka yang menyapa dan tak akan mengakhiri.

Aku hanya ingin datang dan tak pernah pergi.

Morning, Sunshine!

2009-08-04T09:01:00.000-07:00

these are photos taken in Mars, this is how the morning in Mars look like
and by seeing all these, i could somehow feel the warmth

lets spend a day in Mars

Supercool.

Questions i hate to launch

2009-07-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

Friday, July 17th 2009
Two bombs hit Jw Marriot and Ritz Carlton, Mega Kuningan, Jakarta

while i was in RSIB, taking my mom who scared to death got hit by some mexican flu, thankfully she was not, i saw the news on tv, and i was so scared yet so sad.
i wanted to cry, but the shame's on me, so i stayed inside instead of going outside screaming the word loser for the bombers.

i hate it how human could be so cruel to each other
how those cute little babies could turn into some monstrous beasts? i don't know
i am screaming, for some little cheats of how this world's working

our earth, sun, moon, and everything in this universe we're living, i believe that we're God's best thing ever invented. God has this silly amount of love for us to never even realized any of it.

so why are we bombing each other?
turning others to flames?

we're all the best so why hate?
we have mother we have father we have sister, why kill others?
what's wrong with tenderness and honesty and stuffs?
what's wrong with people smiling people hugging people kissing people caring?
what's wrong with me with you with us with them?
i really am confused i could cry

what's wrong with love?

Picture me, my Friend

2009-07-12T07:32:00.000-07:00

and just tell me what you see

is it pain or what?

Sheila on 7 Kyaaaaaaaa!

2009-06-27T04:34:00.000-07:00

i've got this bloody cool band on my highschool prom, oh God

They played almost every song from every album! ah how bad i forgot some lyrics, but still i sang along to EVERY song. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah love it!

They also played real amazing, they were cuddling each other and really was having chit chat with the crowd, ah how i looove them!

here are my fav songs of Sheila on 7;
- Pagi yang Menakjubkan
- Terimakasih Bijaksana
- Khaylila's Song
- Generasi Patah Hati
- Melompat Lebih Tinggi
- Tunggu Aku di Jakarta
- Jalan Terus

all of sudden, this best indonesian song writer ever got off of the stage and greeted us and took my friend's pocket camera and took this picture. Duta once offered to take some more pictures of us, too bad Eross had already give my friend back her poket camera. ah, how cool is that?!

fyi: I am the one behind Eross' left ear, with that big mouth open

for what happened, i hate no more the fact that i don't get any guitar pick or anything at all.

i have this infinite amount of love for the band, since i was like, what? 8 years old?

Calling for Failure, Iam Seventeen

2009-06-26T11:39:00.000-07:00

how i realized

how little do i know
what's with pain? what if i were the cause of your pain?
what if i didn't mean it?
what if i sucked?

ah how little do i know
what's with the law of effect-and-cause
what if i made mistakes?
what if i failed?

ah how little do i know
what if i told you how much i feel sorry about it
what if i told you, earlier

ah how little do i know
how i wish you could forgive me and just save me

life's like an endless chase, when we don't know who's after us but we run anyway

thx fr th mmrs

2009-06-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

the one and only place where we meet the past
recalling the facts that happened
and turn it to memories of what happened.

and i choose to exaggerate some, to bring up something small and make it big
to recall something unwritten and make it literal
only in the part of mind we called memories are we doing ourselves a favor
we put some smiles on our faces for the sake of souls

and, memories, trust me, they could really kill me
and when i found them being able to, i'll change it's amount.
pour something down and cut something off of it
and in a blink of an eye, i find myself being much better

too bad, some memories are too cruel for us to even remember

phuck time, for it is moving forward and not planning on a ride home
phuck time, for how it is running through our lives, 24hours are not enough
phuck time, for being so fast, we could never escape
yet, we escaped too soon from this lake of laughs and tears and screams and kicks,
high fvcking school.
-so long and good die! i mean goodbye

Oh how i love Kiddos!

2009-06-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

i was watching this video on youtube, that goes with fall out boy behind the scene, there it was gabe saporta from the cobra starship and he confessed that the best video on youtube for him was some baby videos and they gave a glimpse of it, which i thought was so cool, so in a blink of an eye i find my self laughing so hard watching those freaking little babies giggling and doing silly things. oh how i love them! here's the link;

Charlie bit my finger - again!.

in case you're one of those guys that keep wondering how this video is viewed more than 100million times, or even just confused why do people, like me, love these silly toddlers so much, check the list out, man!

why do i love babies!

1. just because they're silly
2. they're so honest, even with their self
3. i love it when they ask things, makes me wonder how this little creature is always curious about the whole universe, while we, grown-ups just take it for granted.
4. babies see the world the way we all should, yet we don't
5. babies are the symbol of the real world that we're supposed to be living in; purity, curiosity, honesty, and peace, that should lead us to something called happiness.
6. babies are so cute
7. baby boys are going to grow as a boy, when they could break hearts, and then they'll grow to be a man and they will lead their family to glory. or, to calamity.
8. baby girls are going to grow as a girl, when they could be sluts, and they'll grow to be a woman and they will lead their kids to another glory, or if not, calamity.

well i have tons of another excuses for me to get crazy for babies, but i love the number 8, so i'll stick with it.

The world has ever been so in love

2009-06-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

* it may at first seems unfriendly, red and burning. trust me, it's cool.

The moment i witness the morning glory.
it really is. it deserved to be called glory.

as it was 5.54 am and the sunshine is peeping in every window of every house
hoping to brighten up everyone else's life.

with those birds singin their newborn life, the new day, another bright day with the sweet and heart-warming sunshine that is cutely forced to get into our lifes, that really should be appreciated with smile instead of tears. with laughs instead of sobs.

the world has never been so in love.
but in the morning.

tha face of it, it's skies, they're so big and warm, so full of affection
the sunshine cures it from the darkness of night and save it from the heart-freezing.
it made the world so much.... better.

oh, how i love the stars <3

Find these in the big photos of a whole mess

2009-06-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

What Used To Be A Bed

2009-06-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

this is what used to be my bad, i mean bed.

the place i loathly take those little pieces of death.

and now that it may looks like a play ground,

don't ever ask me.

i dont know, really~

Absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence

2009-05-27T02:26:00.000-07:00

Just in case you guys believe that there's no such thing as outer-space-creature JUST because there's no evidence of them being alive, lemme tell you

Life's not being interpretated that easy, mates
it's too damn tricky, believe me

i would love to be in a band!

2009-01-16T04:48:00.000-08:00

and not being banned.

gue tau tau tauuu banget, i have no such skill to be in a damn band.
wait, wait. why do i keep hearing these laughs?

hey, silly imaginary sounds, stop screaming the word loser in my eaaaars!

Lets Play -Guess-What-I-Catched-

2009-01-04T04:56:00.000-08:00

for my sake, imagine these.

kursi roda, gak sih?
or even future vehicle(s)?

hanger-s ?

my own satisfaction :p

another soup-er-roller-coaster

lollipops

Dear, God's Greatest Miracle

2009-01-02T09:54:00.000-08:00

could you please?

Another Pete Wentz

2008-12-24T06:38:00.000-08:00

eh buset liat deh muka sensasionalnya si pete wentz. disasteeer abis pake gonoan. whatever you call it, oh iya. jenggot dan kumis itu. oooh sok keren abis lagi, meluk2 patpat. aduh aduh peteeeey, jangan aneh aneh dong.

Introduction To Destruction

2008-12-24T06:27:00.000-08:00

Well, good night. And happy new year! i am creating a new life out of me.
Welcome :D